Today..and life through green eyes
Its hard to believe that so much time has passed….the memories of my childhood remain strong and clear within me…my adolescence.. my innocence.. my reluctance…my impulsivity…. I really don’t think I made “plans” like my other friends did…hadn’t figured out my future in high school, didn’t go to college at the “age” most everyone else did…never had a big wedding planned when I was a girl…I flew by the seat of my pants ..I eventually had all that…but I took one day at a time I guess…living with the attention span of a gnat kept me moving and scattered…but I remember being happy… I will always say I am one of the lucky ones….came from a middle class family, parents only drank at social occasions, don’t remember a lot of fighting, we spent family summers in New York, playing on the beaches of Far Rockaway and Coney Island…traveled to Washington and Buffalo and even Toronto…and we usually got there by driving….mom would pack loads of fruit and drinks.. and purple medicine to help us sleep… it helped my sister sleep…me, I climbed the car walls…we had a sense of family….I had 2 parents and they were married until my father passed away when I was 19…I used to say I was a “Cleaver”, Ward and June’s daughter… only thing missing was a brother…and if I could have traded my sister in for one, believe me, I would have….but so glad I didn’t.
Today is my birthday….
And I am reflecting…
I wonder where the years have gone at times
And at other times….I feel every moment…
Every bump bruise and life lesson I learned along the way…
At my age…I have made changes usually left to be accomplished by the young…
New state, new home, new marital status, new job….I could say same me, but that wouldn’t be correct… no one can make so many changes in their lives and remain the same…we learn and grow and become responsible for our actions and there are consequences that we didn’t have before…things no longer standing in our way of a journey or a challenge nor is there a wall standing in our way to shield us either…a trade off of sorts, to age…to grow up …to explore life in ways that before were unavailable routes to take…roads to follow…life is a journey…. Not a destination….
I am happy….I am awake….and alive…my age is a number that reflects the year I was born….the rest is my attitude and how I choose to live my life… its never too late to do anything, or start something new….or completely start over….
I passed a mirror today and took stock of the woman that I have become…an age like 27 seems so long ago…yet, some days that is exactly how I feel…not the 30 years since then.. Today is my day….and I liked my reflection of where and who I am ….
As always, Greeneyes
